Ignore me, being stupid over here

[eiliem]

I can't believe how ridiculous I'm being, but I just want to curl up and cry and not read any more One Piece until things are better. Or ever I don't really mean that last bit. Mostly.

Maybe I'd feel better if I had a good cry, but I just have this miserable ball of lead in my gut instead.

I knew Whitebeard was going to die. I knew it was coming. I didn't know it was going to happen this chapter but, baring a miracle (and as Oda has been uncharacteristically stingy with those recently, I wasn't holding my breath >.<), I could tell it was going to be soon.

So it's not like I was surprised or anything. Or, maybe pleasantly surprised that he got the kind of badass death he deserved, after Blackbeard showed up.


None of which explains why I feel like Oda just killed my puppy.

Fuck this arc, never wondering how bad Oda can make things again. Can't imagine how he can make this any worse; trust that he will.


Tried watching the Luffy-Usopp fight so I could have a good cathartic cry (I never said it was a good idea - it's late at night, illogical things are thought). Didn't work, just feel worse.

And maybe I'm completely wrong that a good cry would make me feel better. Maybe I'd just have itchy eyes and a sore throat on top of being stupidly miserable.


Ha ha, of all things, listening to happy Strawhat songs is making me cry. Fuck my life.



I will be better when it is not late at night. Probably.

Oda, for the love of Luffy's hat, make things better. Soon.

Comments

[shayera.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I feel kind of... empty, after Shirohige's death. It didn't make me cry rivers like Ace two chapters ago, but... He was awesome. We knew he would die, and yet it stings. At least his death was BADASS.

I'm not sure watching other examples of Odacchi being evil is the right medicine right now, though. I'd say happy nakama songs are better, but if that didn't work - how about the beginning of the series? The happy-go-lucky vaguely pirate themed adventures of a silly rubber boy! :D

Laughing Luffy never fails to cheer me up, at least. And we will get Luffy's laugh back! *believes firmly*

I hope you'll be able to sleep well, and wake up feeling better. *hugs more*

[eiliem.livejournal.com]

*CLINGS HARD*

[naye]

*hugs very tight and rocks softly*

It's going to be alright. It is. But it might take some time. This is - all of it - so wrenching. So many weeks of shock and horror and tears - all the characters in tears. No smiles, except for that one brief flash of hopes which was just to REALLY get us HARD after that.

I'm thinking, right now, that there won't be any miracles for a while. But the only miracle I WANT is for Luffy's nakama to not be missing. He needs them, needs them more than he's ever needed them before, and they're not there. If they could just be there... It wouldn't FIX anything, but it would HELP.

I'm not sure Oda IS going to fix things. I'm not sure... not sure of anything anymore because clearly people do die in One Piece now, and that's kind of traumatizing and.

Yeah, if he ever fixes Ace, it. Um. Might take a while or also not happen at all, and I'm not saying that because I don't want to, but because it's what the story is making me feel. And it's making me feel... not "okay", that's not true, but. It's what has to happen. What had to happen.

Somehow, it will be okay. But. It all comes at a cost. Luffy can't just reach Raftel and go TAG I'M IT - even though that's what it seemed like from the beginning.

I - I'm going to quote Babylon 5, because Babylon 5 was epic and also knew about these things.

"There is a greater darkness than the one we fight. It is the darkness of the soul that has lost its way. The war we fight is not against powers and principalities, it is against chaos and despair. Greater than the death of flesh is the death of hope, the death of dreams. Against this peril we can never surrender. The future is all around us, waiting, in moments of transition, to be born in moments of revelation. No one knows the shape of that future or where it will take us. We know only that it is always born in pain."

[eiliem.livejournal.com]

*watched tiny bit of Gin-chan, read other manga, talked myself back into denial, had a good laugh at Ace being a dork, feel better now*

ACE IS NOT PERMANENTLY DEAD UNTIL THERE IS A PARTY!

*snuggles*


Luffy can't just reach Raftel and go TAG I'M IT

*giggles*

[eiliem.livejournal.com]

I know. Like, do I even want to watch the anime now? I never felt, you know, depths of despair about anything through the Impel Down and Marinford arcs because it was going to be okay.

And I was still kind of clinging to that, even after Ace died. I thought, no, he can't be gone gone, that's too cruel. But now it's been three straight chapters of It Got Worse and... I'm starting to think that maybe no, it won't get better. At least not for Ace.

Fuck this all, if there's no hope next chapter I'm not reading any more until the nakama are back together.

[velshtein.livejournal.com]

I really don't know that I can watch the anime. And I was looking forward to it too :/
SAME HERE. I honestly stopped watching right after 574 because it hurt too much to watch everyone trying so hard and knowing that they're just going to fail. ;; If things don't...change a bit then I may just watch clips here and there because I want to see Marco's phoenix animated. ;;

OTOH, I'm also seriously considering the idea that One Piece ends for me at Chapter 571. And that the chapters posted are just of this AU. Will possibly soothe my pain.
THIS TOO.

[eiliem.livejournal.com]

*CLINGS HARD*

I think I'm going to try talking myself back into the delusion that things will be okay.

If next chapter continues the trend of no hope whatsoever, though, I might take a break.

[eiliem.livejournal.com]

like so?




whee~ shrooms

*snuggles*

All together now: it will be okay, it will be okay, itwillbeokay, itwillbeokayitwillbeokayitwillbeokay

^_____________^

[eiliem.livejournal.com]

*listens to happy music, talks self back into delusions that everything will be okay*

My capacity for bullshitting myself is wearing thin but.... I'll give it another try :S

*CLINGS HARD*

<- Happy Luffy makes everything better

[eiliem.livejournal.com]

Stand in awe of our bullshitting abilities, for they are truly spectacular. :P

*snuggles*

It will be okay - and if it isn't, I will write stupidly long AU were it is.

[ukiiukii.livejournal.com]

Seconding all of this so hard.

One Piece was my happy place; no one was suppose to die.

Especially this.

[ukiiukii.livejournal.com]

Me too!
This was the story I could always count on to lift my spirits and make me feel like everything would somehow be okay.

Not anymore.

[ukiiukii.livejournal.com]

That's exactly how I feel. The whole reason I was loving this arc so hard because the whole time I was thinking "It's okay, they're going to save Ace in the end" And now I can't even fathom how things are going to be okay ever again.

I was listening to "Ace of Spades" at work and actually started tearing up.

Goddammit Oda.

[ukiiukii.livejournal.com]

/HUGS

I know exactly how you feel and God I hope he makes it better soon for all of our sakes.

I'm glad I took a rain check on this chapter...I finally got my motivation back kind of and am NOT ready to trust my ppor fragile heart to Oda again. Or maybe ever.

[eiliem.livejournal.com]

*SNUGGLES!*

Things will be okay! *believes fervently*

The chapter in and of itself wasn't as devastating as the two before it... it was the three-chapters-in-a-row-no-hope that got me. As was the creeping feeling that Ace might be gone for good ;_;

BUT! I am back in self-deluded mode (my powers of self-delusion, they are epic) and clinging stubbornly to hope. Ace is not gone gone until there is a party!

Whitebeard died like the badass we all knew he was, so he can rest now.


*kicks Ace* Wake up stupid, we're not finished with you yet!

[ukiiukii.livejournal.com]

Yeah I think I need to wait a bit until things get happy again because goddamn this is making me so depressed NNNGGGH.

I'm glad your back in denial mode! Reading your posts lets me have hope vicariously through you XD

[eiliem.livejournal.com]

*spams you with craaa~ck*




Ahaha, denial, it is a happy place. XP

Oda hasn't answered half the questions he raised about Ace this arc! So he can't be finished with him :D *logic is flawless*

[ukiiukii.livejournal.com]

Pffffffft that image. That's amazing.

THAT GIVES ME LOTS OF HOPE. Oda please tell me your sneakiness means something.

[eiliem.livejournal.com]

-we don't know why Ace wanted to take Whitebeard's head
-right before he died, Ace mention some "Sabo incident" ...o_O whut?
-we've seen next to no interaction between tiny!Luffy and tiny!Ace, just glimpses, and while we can easily imagine why Luffy would worry his brother, we haven't really seen why Ace would say Luffy worried him "all the time" or why Ace felt he had to protect Luffy
-we also never got a flashback of them fighting

... and, yes, these are all questions that have to be answered in flashbacks, which don't technically need Ace to be alive for :P ....but why bother if he's dead? And they are all questions that Oda raised this arc and I can't see him just... letting them hang. He never drops a plot point.

Did you read shayera's post on the Loophole? That the chapter was called "The Death of Portgas D. Ace" but his birth name is Gol D. Ace - which is how the chapter ends, in fact. And I love the thought because - well, how awesome would that be? But I couldn't figure out why Ace would take his dad's name - unless he met Rayleigh, and had a good long talk with the man who is still mourning Roger, 22 years after the fact.

[ukiiukii.livejournal.com]

Hmmm yeah I guess he could explain all that without Ace being around. I guess a lot of that stuff is not really necessary to the story as well but it would still be nice to see.

Yeah Oda and his crazy plotness. I think the thing that makes it so hard for me right now is that his death was so...decisive and final. But it came after a lot of time dedicated to fleshing Ace out via backstory in the same kind of formula that we got with the Strawhats. And then finally giving him the will to live. I guess that really it just re-enforces the brutality of his death, but it seems like a lot of time to waste for a character you're just going to kill off two chapters later.

Although I guess really we're all just grasping at straws here. Hahahahaha.... :C

YES I SAW THAT POST AND IT FILLED WITH FALSE HOPE AND JOY AND I KIND OF REALLY WANT IT TO HAPPEN THAT WAY LIKE REALLY, REALLY, REALLY. REALLY!
(really)

I'm just wondering what the hell is going to happen to the Whitebeard Pirates now? Are they going to disband? Is Marco going to take over? I was really expecting Ace to take over once Papabeard passed on and for Oda to set them up as future rivals like the Supernovas, but I GUESS THAT'S OUT THE WINDOW NOW.